Rev. Sue Browning, November 10, 2024
Note: Rev. Browning offered this reflection after the November 10th Sunday service at the invitation of the Board. This reflection is part of the congregation’s preparation for a ministerial transition.
I’m humbled by this invitation to reflect on my almost 12 years of ministry at UUFE. This is not my ‘good-bye’ sermon (coming June 2025), nor is it my observations on the overall state of the congregation. My hope is this reflection on my ministry will help the congregation as you discern what is next.
Who was I when I showed up here in 2013?
I was 56. I had grown up in predominantly white, middle-class neighborhoods; a dead-center baby boomer. Our family had moved frequently from one suburb to another around the country. I graduated from high school in NJ, and from the University of NH in 1978 with a degree in math.
Three weeks after graduation, I began working at New England Telephone in Boston. I worked on cost models, was part of the national AT&T divestiture team and completed my MBA going to classes at night at Boston College. Bill and I dated and got married.
In our early 30s, we moved to the DC area. Stephen was born in 1988, Jen in 1991 and Daniel in 1993. The next two decades were filled with jobs, daycare, school, sports, braces, ER visits, camps and more. These were wonderful, juggling years, and like anyone else we had challenges. My parents divorced in 1990, Bill’s Dad died in 1992, and there was “9/11” and snipers.
When our oldest was five, we began attending the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington. We had no idea what ‘UU’ was. We knew we wanted a church. Something to remind us to “not to be materialistic” are the words I recall using. Something to add balance to our lives. At least I did. Bill went along. From the beginning, we were every-Sunday regulars. For me church was an essential and intentional weekly pause, a source of energy. Through Religious Education (RE) our children expanded their circle of trusted adults. We participated fully and made many ‘church’ friends.
Before we knew it, we had two kids in high school, one starting college and we decided to mix it up. I took an early retirement from Verizon. Bill, who had been a stay-at-home dad for a few years, returned to full-time work. I relished the break and truly had no next plan.
With this added flexibility, my leadership and volunteer roles at church expanded. My faith deepened. Church was where I loved to engage.
In 2008 I experimented with one course at seminary, totally clear I did not want to be a minister. I just wanted to learn. Then things shifted. Five years after that first seminary class, I was a recently credentialed UU minister applying for a position to be your half-time contract minister.
What did it mean to say I was a ‘recently credentialed UU minister’?
The language around professional ministry can be a bit of word salad. It is important to learn as you consider what is next. It is the Unitarian Universalist Association (“the UUA” – our denomination) that sets the standards to become a credentialed UU minister (also known as a minister “in fellowship”). The standards are tweaked from time to time.
Being a ‘credentialed minister’ meant I’d completed
- a Master of Divinity degree;
- a 400-hour chaplaincy program;
- a comprehensive psychological evaluation;
- a one-year full-time parish internship;
- reading lists;
- written essays on call, theology, religious education, and more; and
- had passed two formal evaluation interviews by Ministerial Fellowship Committee (a UUA panel) in Boston.
I interviewed here on a beautiful late afternoon in May 2013 with your Search Committee — Emily Cranwell (Chair), Patty Hamsher, Edie Swallow, Dave Manning and Deb Simpers. After follow-up calls, reference checks and discussions on contract details, the Board approved a two year contract and I signed.
You welcomed me at age 56, an old beginner, as your half-time minister.
What does it mean to be a “half-time” minister?
Your prior minister had been full time. I’d never worked in a setting where there was not full-time ministry. We’ve needed to figure out half-time ministry together.
Looking back, serving half-time has been a profound part of defining our partnership. I’ve been around for 12 years of congregational life. I’ve helped kick-off 12 church years, attended 12 years of Board meetings, and witnessed 12 years of congregants coming and going. Twelve years of current events, and for sure I am 12 years older. Yet, I’ve only done about 6 years of full-time ministry with UUFE.
Half-time means we’ve made choices on what I’d do and not do. The list of what we have done together is strong, and I’m aware of so much which never made the priority list. Much on this list I think we’d all have liked to have gotten done.
How would it have been different if I had been ¾ time or full time? We’ll never know and it’s likely it’s not worth much afterthought. Decisions were made and lived out. Half-time is what we’re used to and has, for the most part, worked.
A few thoughts now on what has shaped my ministry at UUFE, in a sort of in chronological order, and sort of not.
A first observation. When I arrived here you were very ready for me to dive in, and I was anxious to get started.
I preached my first sermon my first day on payroll, September 1, 2013. A member, Bob Hall, died in my first weeks here. I was ordained on September 29, 2013 at the UU Church of Arlington. (It’s upon ordination that you begin to wear a stole and have the title ‘Reverend.”) Peggy and Paul Sharp attended my ordination representing UUFE.
As with any new partnership, we had early impressions of one another. Some of what I recall from my end …
The welcome was warm. I could feel the care for me and for one another.
You were organized. UUFE was most comfortable with structure and procedures.
You were excited for a ‘fresh start.’ You wanted to look forward, not back. At least many of you did. Some were not as ready.
You were wary of so much – of choosing a minister, of the UUA, and of getting the relationship with me right. You were so respectful, intentional and careful with my time.
Finally, many of you, especially the core leaders, were tired. You’d been minister-free for over 9 months. From what I could tell, together you had done a solid job of covering virtually every ministerial function, and on making decisions on what was next. You did it all, and you were drained. Especially the Worship Team, the Committee on Congregational Ministry, and the Board.
Another reflection. Much of ministry is helping tend the organization. Much of my ministry has been about learning to work with Boards.
Dick Doughty and Peggy Sharp were co-presidents my first year. The details and forethought in their work was clear. Coming in I imagined the ideal role for the minister was to provide spiritual support for the Board and to ask a few insightful, curious, groundbreaking questions. Yet, I’d have so many observations, questions, concerns and practical thoughts on the details. What was mine to do? Who needs to know and decide what, why and when? It didn’t all fit neatly together.
Yet, by the end of the annual cycle, we had pretty decent rhythms. A first year done. Whew.
Then the reality hit: Boards change every year. Board members rotate off, new members start. New Presidents start. The Board reforms, reframes, needs to educate its new members, and to recreate momentum. All were volunteers. I was learning how much ministerial energy it takes to stay in synch with an ever-shifting Board.
Pretty quickly I realized I held at least some of institutional memory that was relevant during Board meetings. I’d wonder, would it best to let the Board struggle or should I remind them there is a bylaw, or precedent or policy? Well, it was me. You can guess how that has usually gone.
A related thread. Much of ministry happens in the details, the prep and planning.
As an example, a few years ago when we were coming out of Covid, I saw UUFE struggling with the Board and leadership transitions. I decided we really needed ‘Board Binders’ to help the transition. In the past there were binders. Others didn’t see comprehensive binders as a priority, at least not in the same way. Before I knew it, it was the night before a Board retreat, I gathered current documents and found myself at Staples making up orange binders.
Should I have gone to Staples? Or skipped the binders? Or tried to fit the creation and production of binders into limited staff hours? Or ask an already-stressed congregant to help?
Over my years at UUFE I’ve done ‘All of the above.’ I’ve invited others to help, skipped the work and have done stuff myself.
The reality is I’m a ‘Go to Staples’ kind of minister. Or to Acme for flowers for flower communion. Or to drop off flyers at a member’s house.
I’ve helped busy leaders find ways to lead and have found joy in the details.
Was this ‘doing’ recommended in my formal training? Likely not. Ok, definitely not.
In part it’s a reality of ministry, particularly small church ministry, lived out in varying ways by each minister. I hear from other UU colleagues and ministers in other denominations that they fix furnaces, or lead music, or shovel icy walks or fix copiers.
There is ministry in the errands – in filling in gaps – in supporting leaders – in the planning roles that help with momentum.
While there is not an ideal, perfect minister, the UUA does have standards for accountable, advisable ministry and ongoing ministerial formation that takes place over time.
When I started at UUFE I was in what the UUA calls “preliminary fellowship” credential status. To get to “full fellowship” (the next step, sort of like tenure), I needed your help to complete three annual reviews. UUFE came through.
Between 2013 and 2016 the Committee on Congregational Ministry (C0CM) and Board completed three comprehensive reviews, including assessments across the eight categories – Worship, Pastoral Care, Practical Arts, Teaching, Prophetic Outreach, Denominational Work, Leadership and Personal and Professional Growth. You collected input, offered me feedback and submitted so, so many forms. The teams were diligent, honest, and caring.
Through this work we got to know one another better. I was granted full fellowship in 2017. Thank you. (You presented me the stole I am wearing now in celebration of this milestone.) I’ve tried to live into being the minister you believed I could be.
This same year my ministry took on a new dimension when I took on a second position as the half-time contract minister at the UU congregation in Chestertown beginning July 2017. I’d been at UUFE for four years by then and half-time ministry seemed to be what UUFE planned to continue. I had more personal flexibility by this point. My Dad, who we’d moved to live near us in 2013, died in 2016. My mom had died in back in 2009 and Bill’s mom in 2015. Bill had retired in 2016.
With two congregations I had preaching obligations a minimum of 40 Sundays a year, had 24 ministry reports and 24 Board meetings each year. There were additional congregants needing pastoral care and leadership support, and another county and clergy groups to meet.
I was now a full-time minister in a unique form. I served in two half-time positions. I wasn’t sure if or how a partnership between the congregations might emerge.
I got to experience another congregation’s style and needs. That was energizing. And there were efficiencies. Very often I could often use sermons twice. Think of this as me spending half as much time writing on behalf of UUFE. I’d attend General Assembly or training to the advantage of both congregations. I had more time to spend serving UUFE in part because I was at UUCR.
During Covid there were clear advantages to having me serve both congregations. We shared virtual worship for over a year, and figured out tech for shared services together. We worked on Covid ‘re-opening’ protocols together. Unique ministry came with a pandemic.
I grew to understand ministry with more depth and creativity by serving both places. I see both congregations benefitted, though nothing emerged as a formal partnership.
I stepped down from UUCR in June 2024 after 7 wonderful years. It’s now an adjustment to figure out how half-time ministry at UUFE functions now without also serving in the UUCR role.
There were other dynamics coming into more clarity at UUFE around 2016 and 2017. When I started here most committees had members and a chair. Through formal and informal ways of communicating, core leaders who knew each other well kept the place going.
Things were changing, and likely had been shifting for a while; likely had been changing even before I arrived.
I remember back in 2015 Deb Simpers asked to step down from leading the Worship Committee. Too stressful she told me; her health was being impacted. We didn’t find a replacement. Other groups had similar stories. Some committees had just faded to a volunteer or two.
Then Edie Swallow moved in October 2015. Edie had run everything – the office, newsletter, rentals, volunteers, groups and more for more than 20 years. She was the hub – a volunteer. She prepared us for her departure with many lists and instructions, but we couldn’t clone her.
Deb Simpers, who had continued to help me with worship even when no longer chair, died suddenly in November 2015.
As we’d worked out my contract renewals, I tried to express my concerns with these patterns – likely not effectively. We also reached out to the UUA for help.
While we continued to ‘do church well’ on Sunday mornings, something behind the curtains felt like a continual struggle. Somethings were just not resolving. By 2016 and 2017 I was stepping in more. It was hard to watch balls drop and have no idea if anyone would notice, no less pick them up.
I then took the biggest risk I felt I had taken here as your minister – as your contract minister, a few renewals into our relationship. With the Board’s support, I called open meetings on several Saturday mornings in early 2018. Many attended. I named that the structure felt like it was failing and in my view was likely to break more. I came up with my colorful ‘bubble charts’ showing committee and leadership gaps, and named the corresponding pressure on the Board and on me.
I presented several options for change. Several of the options (though not all of them) would modify my role in UUFE’s structure to give me more direct responsibility for several areas.
After meetings and conversations over three months, the Board modified the organization structure and gave me more direct oversight of staff and operations. With more authority, I could work with staff and volunteers in new ways.
This is where we’ve been structurally since 2018. In each of my ministry reports I include a summary of my responsibilities as effective July 1, 2018. (See this summary in the attachment at end of this reflection).
Working through these organization changes was ministry. Walking closely and honestly with you and trusting that in raising hard things we’d all be better off I see as spiritual leadership.
What I’ve described so far today about leadership and organizations is not the more obvious front-facing part of ministry; not the preaching, nor the work in the broader community. Ministry is often about nurturing collaboration with other leaders – helping to center mission – and finding effective ways to share the ways we tend the organization.
What have Sundays been like for me? What have I offered? How have we connected during worship?
Much of my time is spent preparing for Sundays. I read, and write, and reflect and write. I talk to you, and to colleagues. I take walks. There are moments of terror when something just won’t come together. And often times the preparation flows. I work with Ellen and others on music. I consider how the children might be included. I love Sundays once it is all written and service elements are selected.
In a sermon in August 2019, I offered my thoughts on worship and sermons, and some on my process and how I pick topics. A link to this sermon is at the end of this reflection. In summary my goal has been to connect – to open hearts and minds and ties to UU values – to stretch us all, and to be the weekly pause that offers renewal.
I’m proud of the collective body of work I’ve created and shared. Some is good, and some I would do otherwise. The list of services is long and so many of you have been engaged in collaboration and the routine of Sundays. It’s where many of you know me best – in the pulpit. I’ll miss Sundays. I’ll miss week after week prep, and Friday and Saturday night scrambling less.
Beyond the pulpit, is the ministry of pastoral care. I think of this as being present to specific needs. From my arrival, UUFE has had a strong Caring Team in place. Members on the committee have shifted, and each group has been amazing. The group follows up on joys and sorrows, helps members with food and rides, and finds ways for others to help. They listen and express the care of the congregation. Much of my pastoral role is to help them.
And there are times when you’ve trusted me directly with an emerging life situation. My ministry role varies in these situations. I recall a time with a member was in the ER for the 8th time, and I decided to be a forceful advocate as I’d learned to be for my parents. It’s where my gut took me.
Pastoral work is not so much time consuming, as it is work to remember to do, especially in the non-crisis times. And there are memorial services. I’ve been with many of you when deaths of loved ones were sudden, and many where the process was long. We’ve lost beloved members. Each story is different. That is the most tender ministry, and feels meaningful even when hard.
Both worship and pastoral care are continual. It’s not project work where big milestones are completed. Both feel foundational to my connection to this congregation. Trust has been built in these roles.
I hear from members how much they appreciate me being out representing UUFE in community. Gratitude has been expressed for the times I’ve spoken at vigils or marches, or helped with letters expressing concern and values in the Star Dem and Talbot Spy. I’ve been proud to offer pet blessings, invocations for the mural blessing in Cambridge, the daily Maryland Senate session and grand opening of Chesapeake Maritime Welcome Center. I’ve also been president of Talbot Clergy and Laity for many years and serve on local boards.
When I’m introduced as the minister somewhere, the congregation’s name is right there. Our Unitarian Universalist words work well in community – they help build bridges. It takes time to develop and sustain relationships in community.
I love the ‘outside of our doors work’ and know I need to balance the external work with what needs attention inside our walls. Internal priorities have often limited community work, and still I’ve been out there quite a bit.
Being a UU minister also means staying connected to the denomination through meetings, and conferences. I’ve kept this a priority. I’ve attended General Assembly almost every year, have been a leader in my minister chapter group, and have been a mentor.
What else has been a part of my ministry?
I’ve loved work with children, our camps. I’ve helped in defining staff roles – writing job descriptions and evaluations – helped with stewardship and budget, holding worry and angst – dealing with conflicts – dealing with safety. Many layers. I’ve provided comprehensive ministry reports to the Board each month – a chance for the Board to know what I’ve been up to.
Three more important threads before we close.
Sometime in early 2018, about the same time we considered modifying the organizational structure, and well into my work at UU Chester River, we entered a conversation about our relationship as minister and congregation. Should I stay as a contract minister or should we deepen our partnership and have me become your ‘called’ minister? your ‘called’ half-time minister to be more precise. (Called ministry is also called a ‘settled ministry.’)
Why would we take this step? Was the timing right? Lots of meetings and reflection. In October 2018, 5 years after I’d started here, you had a full congregational vote and formally called me as your called minister – a permanent minister (permanent as these things go), and I accepted. We no longer needed to do contract renewals.
When I moved from ‘contract’ to ‘called’ ministry the change was subtle. I’d been around here for five years. Maybe with ‘call’ we took a longer view? Had a bit more courage to be real? For me, it was a vote of reassurance and expectation for longer-term leadership. There was a wonderful installation party in June 2019!
With my call behind us, we boldly headed into the 2019–2020 church year. Ideas, strategic planning … so much energy. And then Covid. I’ve preached on serving during the pandemic before. The sense of dread, and exhilaration in sorting out connections. Sorting out tech. Shared services with Chestertown and more. So much trust, and pressure on systems. Both new ways and losses that are part of our shared experience.
Finally, when I arrived, I never heard about the budget. In the last five years I’ve been deeper in the considerations with the Board and congregation on strategy, resources and plans.
So much to look back on. So many ways I’ve experienced ministry and served as UUFE’s minister.
The invitation for today called for a ‘mirrored reflection.’ This was a new term for me. Mirrors physically reflect light and our surroundings. What I’ve tried to do these 12 years is create a shared ministry where we’ve been present to one another – hopefully are lights for one another. We’ve been a part of one another’s joys and concerns. We’ve kept our door open to the broader world.
What we have to offer as a faith and as a congregation is a path to relationships – relationship to one another, relationship to the community and relationship with the ‘something greater’ – and relationship to ourselves.
The spiritual part for me is about finding a path to lean into feelings, and mystery. To go deeper. To be ok in not knowing all; to realize there is so much we don’t control, and to have confidence there are so many ways we do have agency to care and to act. Spirituality for me is about a wholeness…sensing the connections…the center of love… And love and God for me offer interchangeable language to express so much – aspiration, direction, accountability and comfort.
I showed up with a readiness to serve you in the shared journey around something spiritual. My goal has been to walk with an ever-changing group – changing in who is here … each one of us changing and all in a world that changes.
I’ve made choices and we’ve made choices. We’ve been partners for almost 12 years. I know deep down something incredibly special grounds how we’ve shaped one another.
My hope is this reflection offers a sense of my experience on this journey. We’re not quite done yet. We are starting to tell the story of how my ministry will fit into the 64-year history of this congregation.
Know that however these next decisions on ministry go, I love you. It is a blessing for me that we found one another.
____________________________
Attachment 1
Ministerial Responsibilities
Per call and contract, and per board policy on structure effective July 1, 2018, Rev. Sue’s overall responsibilities:
- Provide spiritual leadership, including leading 24 worship services per year.
- Meet pastoral needs of members and friends, in coordination with the Caring Committee.
- Oversee day-to-day matters of religious life, in collaboration with staff and volunteers, including Worship Planning, Religious Education, Music, Adult Enrichment, Social Justice, Member Services, Administration, Communications, and Building and Grounds.
- Contribute as a member of the Board and member of the Committee on Congregational Ministry to support UUFE in living into its mission, noting that UUFE’s elected leaders have primary accountability for governance, leadership development, strategic planning, finance, stewardship and personnel matters, as her half time hours can accommodate.
Attachment 2
Below are 3 past sermons I’ve offered about on UU ministry and my experience of ministry:
“The Tradition of Ordination” on October 6, 2013 (the experience of my ordination)
“Well, That Really Was a Sermon!” August 18, 2019 (about my process of preparing sermons)
“Promises We Make” October 8, 2023 (in part ,about the 10 years of ministry since my ordination)